How Do I Talk to My Child About Race?

Young children are inquisitive by nature and your child may be starting to notice differences between themselves and their friends. Has your child started to ask questions about people they see at the shops or at the park? Don’t shy away from what they’re pointing out – dive into it.

How Can You Help Your Child Understand and Appreciate Differences?

• Help your child explore their features. You can create an ‘All About Me’ book or draw a self-portrait. This activity can encourage self-awareness and pride in their unique characteristics. Discuss features such as eye colour, hair texture, and other features, and celebrate what makes them special.
• Explore others’ differences by looking at family photo albums and class pictures. Point out the variety of appearances, clothing styles, and backgrounds. This can be a great way to start conversations about diversity and help your child appreciate the uniqueness of each person.
• Model inclusivity and curiosity by saying things like “Your hair is brown, and your cousin’s hair is black - you both have beautiful hair,” and “Tell me about your classmates.” This approach teaches children to notice and appreciate differences without judgment.
• Read books, tell stories, and watch movies about a variety of people, cultures, abilities, genders, and families to help your child see what they have in common with others, and what’s different. This can help children understand and respect diversity. Discuss the stories and characters, highlighting both similarities and differences in a positive light.
• Avoid language that stereotypes genders and make all materials available to your child, regardless of their gender. Ensure that toys, books, and activities are accessible to all children. This helps to promote equality and break down gender stereotypes, allowing children to explore their interests freely.

How Should You Respond If Your Child Says Something Racist, Stereotypical, or Biased?

These types of comments or questions from young children are likely unintentional. They typically reflect what they’ve overheard, rather than what they believe. Children will often say words or phrases that they’ve noticed elicits a reaction, such as laughter, from their peers, without knowing what they actually mean.

• Ask questions to find out more - learn about your child’s perspective by saying, “Tell me more about that” or “What makes you say/ask that?” This encourages open communication and helps you understand your child’s thoughts and feelings. It shows that you value their opinions and are interested in their perspective.
• Provide accurate information and create a teachable moment for your child, rather than only telling them that what they said was wrong. When your child makes a statement that isn’t accurate, use it as an opportunity to educate them. Explain the correct information in a way they can understand, turning the moment into a positive learning experience.
• Share simple facts instead of complex answers and use examples, such as, “We all have different skin tones. Look, yours is different from Rachel’s,” and “Yes, Josh has two mummies because we all have different families - he has one cousin, but you have five.” This approach makes it easier for children to grasp new concepts. Using relatable examples helps them see the diversity around them and understand that differences are ‘normal’.
• Build empathy by asking things like, “I wonder how that makes your friend feel.” Encouraging your child to think about others’ feelings helps develop their empathy. It teaches them to consider different perspectives and understand the impact of their actions on others, developing kindness and compassion.
• Talk about fairness and explore how to do things that make everyone feel involved and included. Discussing fairness helps children understand the importance of equality and inclusion. Encourage them to think of ways to ensure everyone feels valued and included, whether it’s in play, at school, or in other social settings. This promotes a sense of community and respect for others.

It’s never too early to talk to your child about race, and it’s important to encourage their natural curiosity in conversation. Look for everyday opportunities to open up the dialogue and, as you start having these conversations, remember that you don’t have to tackle all issues at once. You don’t have all the answers - and that’s okay. Use these opportunities to explore and learn along with your child.

If you found this article to be useful, you can check out more of our early childcare resources in our Family Resource Zone.